It had been a couple days since I’d seen Bryan and I was feeling pretty blue. He had brought me to new heights of pleasure and it was difficult to just let that go even though he was married and entirely unavailable to me. I couldn’t even call him or tell anyone what happened.

I closed at the coffee shop that night and decided to go out on the town. Sitting down at the bar, I ordered a Margarita on the rocks and guzzled it as fast as I could. Listlessly, I wished I had brought a friend. I tried not to think about Bryan but I kept looking at my phone and glancing at the door. I don’t know why I expected to see him waltz into the bar but stranger things had happened. I knew despite his silence that he was as lonely as I was, he just didn‘t have the courage to make the necessary changes in his life. Even if he left his wife we probably wouldn’t end up together. He didn’t approve of my bisexual polyamorus ways and I knew better than to try to change for anyone. In truth I just wanted some more mind bending orgasms.

A woman sat down at the bar next to me. She had short, curly flaming red hair and wore a blue jean jacket. Even though I was trying my best to be alone, her eyes caught mine. “Hey how are you doing tonight?” she initiated.

“I’m sitting in a bar by myself drinking margaritas. How do you think I am?”

She ordered a beer and held out her hand, “I’m Darcy Umland. Now you’re not drinking alone anymore.”

I shook her hand and gave a half hearted smile. “My name is Silver Cloudfire.”

Darcy chuckled. “Either your parents are hippies or you’re a witch, am I right?“

“I’m a proud pagan, thank you very much.“

“I’m an atheist myself. Have you been here before?”

“No.”

“I didn’t think so. I come here all the time. It’s a pretty laid back hang out.”

“Yes, it seems nice,” I lied. I was so lost in my thoughts that I hadn’t taken the least bit of notice of the surroundings. A lot of my coworkers recommended this bar, though. Unwillingly brought out of my self centered haze, I scanned the room. As the night wore on it had been getting more and more crowded. Darcy sipped her beer contentedly, glancing at me occasionally. I felt guilty ignoring her so I started talking. We engaged in some small talk. Darcy had the kind of manner that made you feel at home immediately. After a little while she said, “I love this song, do you want to get up and dance.”

“Why not?”

We bounced onto the dance floor and began moving to the strong rock beat. The release of moving my body did a world of good. Tension began to fade from my body as I let loose to the music. “You are a great dancer,” Darcy said.

“No, I’m not but thanks for saying so.”

Darcy shook her head and reached for me. I smiled, thinking this night could get better as she confidently came towards me and gently put her hands on my hips as we danced. Smiling wide, I turned my back to Darcy and she danced up behind me, her pelvis against my ass. In a momentary look around the room I saw a few guys ogling us. I locked eyes with one of them and reached behind me to caress the side of Darcy’s thigh. His eyes and mouth grew wide. I almost expected to see drool come pouring out of his mouth at any moment. Darcy didn’t see me looking at him. I wondered what she would think if she had. Observing her mannerisms and way of speaking it was pretty clear that she was a dyke. I imagine she didn’t think much about the opposite sex. These dudes were a perfect example of how not to act as a man. I turned provocatively toward her and put my arms around her shoulders.  My pussy tingled as she pressed her small yet firm breasts against mine.

She reminded me of the boys I crushed on in high school. She was just the right blend of feminine and masculine. Her light freckles were only visible from close up and her icy blue eyes were easy to meet. Darcy’s soft curly hair smelled like Pert. Shampoo and conditioner all in one step, “You smell practical,” I muttered, a bit drunkenly.

“Dear Finger, what seems to be the trouble?”  asked Ass.  Little Finger 4 was sniffling in despair.

“Well, it’s just that I’m afraid you love Thumb more than me now.  I know that I’m small, and perhaps not as good in the bush.”

“Now, now…don’t despair!  I am capable of loving more than one.  Variety and difference are part of the spice of life.  We all have many needs…to try to meet them through just one individual is folly.  The differences that we experience through many loves make us appreciate the uniqueness of everyone.  For example, you are thin and sleek.  When I’m feeling stressed and tight, your company is most welcome above all others.  When I’m feeling more relaxed, open and romantic, I think of Six.  I suspect that when I now feel the need for something quick and dirty, I will seek out that wretched Thumb.  It’s through the differences that I appreciate all of you.”

“So you don’t love Thumb more?”

“Stop comparing yourself to others.  Love yourself first, and then let go of this jealousy.  Were you not paying attention when Macrocosmic Mother was reading The Ethical Slut ?  We are embracing polyamory, dear Finger!  I think if you let go of your jealousy, you may discover that you too have need for someone else besides me.  That’s healthy!”

“You really think it’s ok to love and be intimate with more than one?”

“Yes, of course it is!  Surely you must have entertained thoughts of someone else besides me…come on, let’s have it!”

“Well…ummm…I’ll admit that I was a little interested in Rhoid.  I like to scratch things, you see.”

“Rhoid!?!  Hmmmm.  Ok, admittedly, that was not the response I was expecting,  but I can definitely see where all can benefit from you and Rhoid becoming intimate.  Maybe he’d be less of a scourge if someone was scratching him regularly.”

“You really think so?”  Finger 4 was starting to cheer up.

“Of course!  Just let me finish with El Punto G, and I’ll personally hook you up with Rhoid.  Deal?”

“Deal!”

Clit was pacing back and forth in front of the entrance to Vagina, waiting for Ass and Thumb to finish playing in the bush.

“My God, they are taking FOREVER! I’ve climaxed like 20 times since they started playing.” She glanced over at an exhausted and sweaty Finger 1, who was lounging on labia. “I guess the old saying is true…you don’t rush the Ass!”

Finger 4 was gnawing on her nail, looking decidedly jealous. Of all her sisters, she was the only one who had ever shown any interest in Ass before, and now she felt threatened! “What if Ass ends up liking Thumb more than me,” she worried. “Then I’m nothing more than a pinkie in the way!”

Meanwhile, behind the bush, Ass was relaxing in an after-glow of pleasure.

“How was that baby cakes?” panted Thumb. “I gave ya my all, and now I feel like shit!”

“Oh, that was quite a commendable performance, dear Thumb,” she sighed sadly.

“What’s wrong?” asked Thumb.

“Well…it’s just that any pleasure lately only serves to remind me of my long lost love…Six.”

“Six?”

“Yes, Six. Six is a dick…a very noble, and patient dick. We had a brief affair when Macrocosmic Mother was experimenting with Man. I’ve never been the same since!”

“Hell yeah! I know about them dicks! Me and the bitches have one that we jerk off on a massage table! Ya just get all greased up and grab on!”

“Enough of that talk. You’re ruining my love moment here, ” sighed Ass again. “For god’s sake, go get cleaned up…you stink!”

Ass picked herself up and rejoined Clit.

“It’s about time,” said Clit.

“I require time and relaxation…do not chide me for that! I can see where you left Finger 1 after you used her royally. Where’s Finger 2 and Finger 3?”

“They have entered the Vagina and are searching for El Punto G. We will probably know shortly if they’ve found her or not. Then we can proceed with our plan.”

“Can we talk?” Finger 4 asked shyly, gazing longingly at Ass.

“It would appear I need to engage in some serious communicating,” Ass whispered to Clit. “You watch for the other Fingers. I’ll handle 4.”

Well I felt the need to finish up the story, or at least this installment.  Probably not as exciting as all the discussion about ejaculation and golden showers but here it is:

We lay there speechless for a while. I would start to fall asleep and then I should feel his body against mine and jerk awake. I twisted my fingers in his ample chest hair and smiled.

“Oh I shouldn’t be here,” he groaned.

“Try not to think about that right now, just enjoy the moment.” I sucked on his neck and let my fingers tickle his thighs.

Bryan signed heavily and grabbed my ass. His cock sprang back to life and this time I climbed on.

Looking back on it now I am surprised at how completely we melted together. We didn’t really know each other. We had no reason to trust each other and yet our bodies moved in perfect synchronicity.

“I’ve never done it with a barista before,” Bryan chuckled as he sat up to get dressed.

“I hope my customer service was adequate.”

Ok, girls, so we’re all into the fluids here today. Makes me want to ask if anyone else has ever been into golden showers? I must confess that my interest in pee began as a child, when I discovered that my brother was better at peeing ON things because he had a peter wing wong…better aim, you know. I was mad about continually peeing on my hiking boots, so I perfected my aim.

My pursuit became sexual after I married my husband. This man has a mammoth size bladder, leading him to claim victory in several college-age “can you pee your name in the snow?” contests. He also let me in on a secret guy thing…that men will pee on their own feet to kill the Athlete’s Foot fungus. Hmmm… How remarkably practical! I’ve never had Athlete’s Feet, but I decided to try peeing on my own feet just in case. Again, the aim thing bugged me, so I decided it would be way more practical for him to pee on my feet and then I’d pee on his feet. Fun, fun! Well, then I got the idea to have him pee on my breasts! Even more fun!

So…anyone else ever participated in a golden shower?

Honestly, not a whole lot.  It’s like an entirely different kind of orgasm,   so different I can’t even describe it. It’s like coming out of your body and “becoming” pleasure.  It has something to do with stimulating the G-spot area.  I think a lot of womyn never get there because sometimes with intense pressure in that area you feel like you’re going to pee.  But, my friends, I can assure you that IS NOT PEE!  The woman has to be very trusting and very relaxed.  I believe that there is a particular motion at a particular moment that causes the “squirt” but I don’t know what it is.  I can’t make myself do it and I am still waiting for a womyn to let me try it on her.  I tried to get Bryan to teach me but he claims that it’s just poking around in a certain spot until you get lucky.  I can tell there is a particular method, but whenever it happens to me, I am in too much ecstasy to remember what was going on.  I get the feeling that lesbians are really good at it.  I’ve seen a few videos…

Anyway, Eric’s website has a pretty good article, check it out!

We left Joe in the back of the van with a sleeping Missy and a horny Candy.  What happens next is full of the gospel truth!  Mark, my friend, if you’re still alive and not incarcerated somewhere, call me!

          They left Asheville two hours later, heading west on Route 40 for Knoxville.  Missy was still asleep in the back.  Candy drove and sang along to Tom T. Hall’s “Me and Jesus” on the CD player.  Joe sat up front on a hot water bottle, his ass still a little sore.

On the way back to Asheville two days later, Joe drove the van, while Mark (a hitch hiker that they had picked up in Knoxville) kept him company.  A strange banging noise could be heard from the back of the van, and the poor vehicle swayed from side to side with a maddening rhythm.

            “Dude, you should have, like, made sure that bio-diesel station was still in business before you left Asheville!”  Mark pointed out, glancing curiously towards the curtain that separated him from the back of the van.  “What’s going on back there?”

            “You don’t want to know,” Joe replied in an irritated tone.  His pride was slightly wounded at the thought of retreating back to Asheville.  He consoled himself, though, by hoping that he could leave Candy there this time.

            The past two days in Knoxville had been fun; he had to admit that.  He had slept with Candy, with Candy and Missy, with just Missy, and with Missy and two other black women from the Grotto.  Sleeping with two women at once had always been a fantasy of his, although admittedly, he had always thought it would be two, petite, white women.  Missy’s taste for large, black women was a bit disconcerting, but hey, his prostate never felt better. 

            Candy was starting to get on his nerves, though.  She kept trying to read his fortune, and insisted that he touch her icons before having sex.  Half way to Knoxville, he had also discovered that part of her “stuff” included a black cat named Shiva. 

            “So, dude, where was I?”  Mark continued, with Shiva curled up contentedly on his lap.  “Oh yes, I had just hooked up with the stripper, Valerie, in San Fran, and she drug me off to Hawaii.”

            Joe had picked Mark up at a rest stop just outside Knoxville.  Mark was hitching his way to Asheville in search of a place to stay, and some quality weed.  He loved to talk, and was excited to tell his life story to Joe.

            “We were having a rad time in Hawaii, you know, until Val’s 18 year old sister came to stay with us.  Like, man, here I am on this beautiful fucking island…a stripper supporting me…I’ve got nothing to do but entertain her beautiful kid sister…and I go and mess it up by fucking the sister on the beach.”

            “You fucked the 18 year old sister?”

            “Yea, dude.  I’m, like, not proud of it, but how many times can you sit on a beach with a beautiful woman…drinking wine…the waves lapping up to your feet…reading Lord of the Rings…before something’s going to happen!”

            “You’re a Tolkien fan?”

            “Dude, you have no idea!  But let me finish…so, I do the sister.  Valeria’s like totally pissed.  I panic.  I run back to San Fran, and shack up with some of my music buddies.  We’re all, like, jamming one day, when we look out the window and there’s these thugs, you see…and they’re staking the place out.  Turns out Val hired a hit man to ice my ass.  After several days of hiding in the apartment, man, I made a break for it.  My buds hid me in a stand-up bass case, and we peeled out of San Fran in a mini-van.  I haven’t been back since.”

            “So, you’re going to hide out in Asheville for a while then? “ Joe asked.

            “Hell yea!  I know this, like, really strange hippie couple there.  I’m going to move in with them…they don’t know that yet, but I’m sure they’ll help me out.  I left my other buddies down in Colorado.  Mini-van died around Boulder.”

            “How funny!  We’re headed toward Colorado for a Libertarian convention.”

            “Dude, you’re, like, going to wrong way!  But rad, man, I had you pegged for a Libertarian, for sure.  Say, you wouldn’t happen to be into Mill would you?  That Utilitarian shit is rad!”

            Joe felt his eyes misting over, “I love Mill!”

            “Right on, man.  We’re going to get on famously…I can feel it!”  Mark opened the curtain concealing the back of the van, after a rather loud succession of banging noises caught his attention.

            “Dude, do you know there’s a black chick ramming the crap out of a white chick in the back of your van?  Cool!”      

Me:  So you did Bryan, huh?

Barista:  All for the love of fiction, baby.

Me:  That hurts!  We should conduct a poll, though, because I’m starting to think Bryan and Joe need to fuck each other.

Barista:  Joe’s a loser!  I’m not letting him near my Bryan!

Me:  Yea, well, Bryan’s a cheat…and you saw how much he was into that Finger.  God, those bitches are everywhere these days!!  Anyway, it’s a small leap from Finger to dildo, and then dildo to dick.  Yea, I’m thinking Bryan needs to experiment.

“Citizens of Vagina!  I am here to lift you up from servitude!  Are you tired of answering to the Ovaries?  I say to hell with baby-making and menstruating!  Follow me and everything will be about PLEASURE!”

“It has come to my attention that the Finger Sisters are lubing up and preparing for entry.  Ass assumes they will distract me long enough to allow HER to speak with you.  She means to persuade you that all body functions are beautiful, but we know better!!!  We’ve felt the tight swell and choking pain of pregnancy!  It gets so fucking cramped in here from babies that I can’t even find myself!  No more!”

“So let the Finger Sisters come.  They will inadvertently be my allies in showing Ass the awesome power I have to control the waters in this region.  Ass will be washed clean away, and I will reconcile with my side-kick Clit!”

“Do you have a break coming up?” Bryan asked.

“Actually, I’m fixing to get off.”

“Oh are you now?”

I rolled my eyes and flashed a sheepish grin. “Why don’t we get some lunch?”

“I could eat,” he said. “I’ll meet you outside when you get off.”

I hoped he didn’t notice how bad my hands were shaking when I walked out to the patio to meet him. His smile melted away any resolve I may have had about doing the right thing. There was no way I could resist him. I followed him to the restaurant with my heart in my throat.

Over lunch Bryan told her about his wife. “She loves me but I think I wanted so desperately to be loved and have a normal life that I compromised. I don’t feel about her the way I should. Things have gotten so boring. We’re complacent with each other and it sucks.”

“You don’t have to talk about that,” I said, staring into my food.

“You are so sexy with that salad dressing coming out of the corner of your mouth.”

My food almost came out of my nose, I was so flattered and shocked. I wanted so badly to tell him how I thought of him when I touched myself but I was too shy. I wiped my mouth with a napkin. I could hardly eat I was so excited and nervous.

“Let’s go back to my place,” I said.

Bryan nodded.

We walked in the door of my apartment and before I could turn around his hands were on my waist and he buried his face in my neck. His hot breath made my instantly wet and I closed my eyes to give myself to the feeling. Bryan’s hands found my breasts and I let out an audible sigh as he grappled at them. I turned toward him and my lips searched for his. We sank into each other in a long kiss. I buried my hands in his hair as our hips ground together. Bryan deftly unhooked my bra before I even got my shirt off. He pinched my nipples erect as I tore at his shirt. “You are so hot,” he murmured. It was music to my ears.

“You are so sexy,” I reciprocated, reaching for his pants.

I giggled as he kissed me again. “You have a beautiful cock,” I said, kissing it and looking into his eyes.

“Thank you,” he said with a smile.

I smiled back. He never let a compliment go unacknowledged. He turned around to rinse the soap off and I went to my knees. My tongue found his ass and he moaned. He grabbed me and threw me on the couch. I lay down and trembled in anticipation of his touch. Positioning himself between my legs, he roughly pressed against my clit. I closed my eyes and melted into the pleasure of the moment.

His eyes focused completely on my sex. He loved to watch my come. His fingers found their way into me as my back arched for him. He knew just the right spot to send my over the moon. Come spilled out of me like a waterfall and I cried out his name when he found my g-spot and massaged it mercilessly. My whole body felt like liquid, as if it had no form or function, only ecstasy, floating weightless in space. Bryan let an approving noise escape his lips as he watched me writhe with delight. “Do you want me to stop?”

“No, please don’t stop,” I managed to say, clutching at him desperately. He pleasured me for a few more minutes before pulling me over on top of him.

I gleefully took his cock in my mouth. He put my hand on his ass, signaling my to put a finger in. I gently slid my lubricated index finger into his ass. “Is that good?” I asked.

“Uh-huh,” Bryan choked out.

“Do you want more?”

“Yesss.” I was surprised when the rest of my finger slid easily in. He moaned and squirmed with pleasure as I sucked his dick hungrily. He guided me to thrust my finger in and out.

“I’m going to come,” he said.

“Go ahead,” I encouraged, letting his dick slip out of my mouth only briefly. As my mouth filled with come, I felt the spasms of his orgasm against my finger. He cried out from an intensity that I could feel inside me too. I reveled in the salty taste of his come because I knew it would linger long after he had returned home to his wife.

I pulled away from him and rubbed my hair against his chest. I wanted to bathe in his scent so that I could pretend he was still there.