The pleasant taste of cock

My husband was out of town for a few days this week.  As is normally the case when he’s gone, I find myself craving the taste of his cock.  Upon his return, I plot ways to throw him on the bed and wrap my lips around his tasty member.  I love sucking cock!

This time, however, his return was ill-timed to coincide with the arrival of his mother.  So here I am plotting blowjobs, and my mother-in-law is in the house.  No kidding…she’s downstairs right this very minute feeding him Chex party mix…the same party mix that he’s eaten since he was like five.  (I rocked his world a few years back when I pointed out the recipe on the Chex box to him and said that really anyone can make this stuff!  Of course for mine to taste like hers, I need the antique turkey roaster that she uses, which she won’t part with until death.)

Anyway, I can’t help but wonder how she would feel to know that I’m planning on ravaging her son’s dick as soon as he finishes his snack mix and comes to bed.  Would she be upset?  Would she be thrilled that her adult son is getting some action?  Would she consider me a good wife?  It’s true I don’t make him snack mix, BUT I do take good care of his cock!  That should count for something!

I hear the clammer of empty bowls downstairs, which means he’ll be up here soon.  I’m preparing to indulge in one of my lengthy blowjobs.  I can easily spend 15 minutes or so just licking the tip of his penis before I even begin to swallow the shaft.  I really think rhythm is the key to a good blowjob…a nice steady rhythm that gradually increases in speed and urgency.  I moan quite a lot when my mouth is full of cock.

He’s mounting the stairs.  Gotta run everyone!

Man Silk

“Are you telling me that my motherboard is not covered under warranty?”  My husband was on the phone last night with HP customer service, raising hell over a defective laptop.  Normally consumer complaints don’t turn me on, but in this case, he was prancing around in his new, black silk boxer shorts whilst on the phone.   Rather than curse when angry, my husband kicks into super intellectual mode, taking articulation to new heights.  He defeats his opponent with logic and word play; meanwhile, I get stupid from lust.

“I want your dick in my mouth NOW!”  I whisper, running my hands over the black silk.

“Let me speak to a case manager, ” he continues with the customer service rep, but I can see by the swelling in his boxers that he heard me.  “No, you will NOT call me back later.  I have no intention of hanging up, and I know good and well that you’re not allowed to hang up on a customer.  Transfer me to someone who can help me…I’ll wait.”  He looks at me and grins as he says the last two words.  The rep puts him on hold, just as I drop to my knees and begin playing with his dick.

I suspected he was going to be on hold for a while, so I took my time, playing with the tip of his dick first, then gradually working my way down to suck on his balls.  I left the silk boxers on him…just unbuttoning them far enough to get full access.  I wanted to feel the silk as I sucked on his cock.

This went on for 10-15 minutes.  HP was probably hoping he’d hang up so that they wouldn’t have to deal with him, but my man waited them out…all the while contentedly getting a blow job.  Finally the elevator music stopped and the voice of the rep returned.  I sucked furiously, realizing my time was up.  I needed that laptop fixed just as much as he did.

“Are you ready to help me now?”  my husband asked the rep, while grabbing my hair to indicate he was about to cum.  The voice of the rep jabbered compromises as I sucked with all my might.  My husband came silently, with a shudder, sending a flood of warm cum into my mouth.  I swallowed and stood up, wiping my mouth.

“No, I’m afraid that won’t suffice,” my husband continued his bargaining, winking at me to show that he appreciated my support.

Cock Flambe

My husband is a very funny man to live with, so every now and then I feel the need to either tell on him or quote him.  The other morning he woke up and told me he had just had the strangest dream.  Apparently in the dream he had been elected president, and as part of the inaugural ceremony, a cute blond chick was supposed to suck on his dick in front of the whole country.  She had to perform said services, though, while his dick was on fire.  Hmmm…

There’s more!

In order to better orchestrate the Cock Flambe ceremony, they had to rehearse, of course.  Every time the Secret Service would light up his dick, it would go out as soon as the blond shoved it in her mouth.  Naturally, fire and spit don’t mix.  They REALLY wanted the First Dick to stay lit, though, so they kept lighting it.

“Didn’t that hurt after a while?” I asked.

“Damned straight it hurt.  I mean my dick was on fire!”

Any Freudians care to analyze this one?  It did remind me, though, of one of my favorite movie lines from The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover, starring Helen Miren in one of her sexiest roles.  After her gangster husband has her lover murdered, she cons the cook into roasting her lover’s body and placing it at her husband’s dinner table.  She then dares her husband to eat, and at one point tells him…”Try the cock, Albert.  You know where it’s been.”

Dildos: Sexy or Indimidating?

So my husband and I went to what I affectionately call the “dirty sex store” yesterday, I was in search of a shiny new dildo to use on E tonight 😉  The only ones I could find were 8 or 9 inch monsters.  When I say 8 or 9 inches that doesn’t seem like that big but when I look at it in person it looks a bit daunting.  My husband said they made him feel rather inadequate.  “Well I think I need to be satisfied with what I already have, kinda like what men have to do,” I said, leaving the store without purchasing anything.  Hubby got this sad look on his face and I felt like I had to back pedal.  I didn’t mean anything bad by my comment, in fact it was supposed to be a compliment more than anything.  Honestly I don’t see the need for such large dildos but I’m curious what others may think about it.

Interlude…

Clit was pacing back and forth in front of the entrance to Vagina, waiting for Ass and Thumb to finish playing in the bush.

“My God, they are taking FOREVER! I’ve climaxed like 20 times since they started playing.” She glanced over at an exhausted and sweaty Finger 1, who was lounging on labia. “I guess the old saying is true…you don’t rush the Ass!”

Finger 4 was gnawing on her nail, looking decidedly jealous. Of all her sisters, she was the only one who had ever shown any interest in Ass before, and now she felt threatened! “What if Ass ends up liking Thumb more than me,” she worried. “Then I’m nothing more than a pinkie in the way!”

Meanwhile, behind the bush, Ass was relaxing in an after-glow of pleasure.

“How was that baby cakes?” panted Thumb. “I gave ya my all, and now I feel like shit!”

“Oh, that was quite a commendable performance, dear Thumb,” she sighed sadly.

“What’s wrong?” asked Thumb.

“Well…it’s just that any pleasure lately only serves to remind me of my long lost love…Six.”

“Six?”

“Yes, Six. Six is a dick…a very noble, and patient dick. We had a brief affair when Macrocosmic Mother was experimenting with Man. I’ve never been the same since!”

“Hell yeah! I know about them dicks! Me and the bitches have one that we jerk off on a massage table! Ya just get all greased up and grab on!”

“Enough of that talk. You’re ruining my love moment here, ” sighed Ass again. “For god’s sake, go get cleaned up…you stink!”

Ass picked herself up and rejoined Clit.

“It’s about time,” said Clit.

“I require time and relaxation…do not chide me for that! I can see where you left Finger 1 after you used her royally. Where’s Finger 2 and Finger 3?”

“They have entered the Vagina and are searching for El Punto G. We will probably know shortly if they’ve found her or not. Then we can proceed with our plan.”

“Can we talk?” Finger 4 asked shyly, gazing longingly at Ass.

“It would appear I need to engage in some serious communicating,” Ass whispered to Clit. “You watch for the other Fingers. I’ll handle 4.”