Okay, so the love van story inspires me to ask, do people actually have sex in public bathrooms? And how often does this happen? Are there people who are so turned on that they can actually put out of their minds that it’s, well, a bathroom?
I probably have a warped opinion of public bathrooms because my mother was ultra-paranoid about them (maybe she knew people were having sex in there). She told me that if we didn’t put paper on the seat that we would turn into the stinky, dirty, unshaven homeless man we saw in the mall that time. Hey, we were little kids, that can put the scare into you.
I have also found that in the bathroom at the coffee shop where I work, when you’re trying to go to the bathroom it almost never fails that someone knocks on the door. They often think you have to have a key to get in there or something. So I holler out “I’m in here,” as loud as I can. Lets give them the benefit of the doubt and say maybe they can’t hear me through the fart fan. A few seconds later they knock again. How can they expect me to go to the bathroom while they’re out there knocking on the door? Am I to believe that people can actually have sex in that environment? And we’re not even talking about performance anxiety, some people can’t even pee if they think someone can hear them.
Well let’s pretend there’s not enough customers in this particular coffee shop to worry about someone knocking on the door. Then I’m thinking, if Candy and Missy are as hot and heavy as you say they are, then Joe couldn’t possibly be so clueless. Sex between man and woman can be contained if so desired. But sex between two women is wet and messy and musky and delicious. If they didn’t come out of that bathroom smelling like animals in heat, they were doing something wrong! Oh wait, Joe is a self absorbed man, how could I forget?
Meanwhile I’d like to start a movement to keep the public sex in cars, the woods, elevators, movie theatres, and back alleys and *out* of public bathrooms. Thank you.
The Erotic Ego 