Mischief knows no age limit.
So Joe vanished for a few days, and the next thing I know THIS shows up in my in-box! I was like, “Wait a minute…I know that nipple…I know that tattoo!” Silver, would you care to explain yourself? What’s Joe doing squeezing your nipples?
My husband demands that his doll be returned fully clothed and with his dignity intact!
Alright, so here was the scene when my husband walked into the bedroom. Joe was stroking my creamy white ass, and Silver had just made a daring escape down the wisteria covered trellis located beneath my bedroom window. (ALRIGHT…so that part I made up…shoot me!)
My husband is shocked by my behavior. “E, how could you play with my doll! You bought him for ME, remember? You left me a note saying how such an awesome husband deserved a better man doll than Ken around the house! And here I come home and find you frolicking with Joe by yourself! You just wanted him for yourself, didn’t you? Admit it!”
“No really, hun…I was just…ummm…getting warmed up for ya! But you’re right, maybe I’ve been bad! Perhaps you and Joe could spank me?”
Joe was all for it, even after the workout that Silver and I just gave him…of course I kept that part to myself. So Joe and my husband took turns spanking me! Oh, the indecency of it all…my bottom is still red!
My husband couldn’t resist taking the pictures…it was part of my punishment.
Joe went apeshit when I donned the animal print bra. We decided to put those huge hands to work on nipple play. For the finale, though, I requested some anal sex.
Again, Joe was all for it, but he got tangled up in my thong…one of the distinct disadvantages of being only 11 inches tall. My husband had to help him out of this one. Yes, this was the awkward moment of the whole evening, but we all learned a valuable lesson!
“So, E…what have we learned today?” asked Joe as he rested on my bosom.
“Well, gee Joe…I guess it would be that it’s better to remove a thong before initiating anal sex? And some lube would have helped, too!”
“It’s good that you’ve learned your lesson!”
“Yes, now I know,” I sighed.
“And knowing is half the battle.”
Shhhhh…don’t tell our husbands…but Silver and I did a threesome with Joe. W didn’t intend to, things just got out of hand one quiet, rainy Superbowl Sunday. Here’s what happened:
Silver came over to my house after work. My daughter was in bed, and my husband had volunteered to do some extra hours at work (so that the other guys could watch the Superbowl). We don’t own a TV and we’re not sports fans at all, so Superbowl Sunday means absolutely nothing to us. My mind was on pussy…not football!
She waltzes in my house with her barista uniform on, and then announces that, sadly, she’s just started her period! “Thwarted by nature, ” I hissed, but quickly recovered my creative spirit.
“No matter, my love, there’s plenty of fun things that we can do!” I enticed her upstairs with promises of rubbing her poor, swollen menstrual ankles. We flopped on the bed and started making out, when I noticed HE was staring at us.
Joe was sitting on my husband’s dresser, his legs crossed and his camouflage shirt riding up to expose chiseled abs. He’s the silent type…just stares with big fixed eyes. Silver was moaning underneath me, so I thought the time was ripe to introduce a third party.
“Look who’s watching us!” I say to her and point toward him. “Allow me to introduce you to Joe.”
“What’s he doing in here?” she asked. “Shouldn’t he be in your daughter’s room?”
“No, he belongs to my husband…just a little something I picked up last week. What do you say about playing with Joe, babe?”
“I don’t know…” she pondered, looking him up and down. “He’s awfully short!”
“Eleven inches to be precise! But check out those hands…they’re fucking huge! I guess he was meant to hold a gun, but I bet he could grab a clit with no problem!”
“You’re insane!” she laughed. “You want to fuck a toy?”
“Baby, we fuck toys all the time! Some are silicon, some are shaped like penises…this one just happens to be shaped like a studly soldier with anatomically incorrect hands! Imagine what we can get him to do!” I tossed him on the bed.
“Should we make him strip?”
Two hours later, and we’re both lounging on my bed, Joe in between us. The rest of the world was celebrating a sports victory, while we were congratulating ourselves on an excellent threesome. “He wasn’t bad, ” Silver mused.
“Yes, I agree…and the best part is we didn’t have to listen to him talk afterwards Guys are so bad about that!”
“Uh-huh! But wait, I hear the lock on your door rattling…”
“Shit, my husband’s home early!!!!”
“Quick, hide Joe!”
(Stay tuned and I will reveal tomorrow what happens when my husband finds out about Joe! It’s horrible…gruesome…perverted…and I’ve got pictures to prove it!)
Historically, a sculpted bust of a woman didn’t include the full boobs, but in Seven’s case, I guess it was too tempting! Think Barbie would be jealous if I added this to my collection?
My husband and I had fun with the dolls the other night:
Holiday 2007 Barbie was a new acquisition, so Ken inducted her into the harem by lifting up her satin gown and ass-fucking her. By the look on her face, she didn’t seem to mind. Who wouldn’t mind after being stuck in a box for an entire year?
Look at that dexterity!!!! How many guys can plow a gal from behind, while looking at his own behind? “Don’t try this at home, kiddies!”
“Oh Ken, fuck me hard, baby!”
Malibu Babie got jealous, and demanded some action for herself! Poor Ken…it’s rough being the only cock in this doll house!
“Look, Ma! No hands!”
See everyone, THIS is the kind of shit you can do if you study yoga!
It dissolved into a threesome very quickly once the Bride joined the action. Ken’s wearing down by this point, so being on bottom suited him just fine. Malibu, however, looks like she could go all night.
And in fact, she did go all night once the Bride started licking. You guys just knew I was going to put the chicks together sooner or later, right?
Ken decided to sit this one out.
(I got inspired for this one after my daughter told me a few weeks ago that I play better after I’ve had some champagne. Yea, she asked her father to go buy me a bottle so that I’d play Barbies with her! Go figure!)
Daughter: Mommy, can I fill your glass up for ya?
Mommy: No baby (hiccup)…I’m good! Now which Barbie am I playing with again? They’re all starting to look alike, these blond bitches!
Daughter: You’re Malibu Barbie, and you’ve just come back from the ball at the castle.
Mommy: So I probably need to change clothes, right? Woohoo! Let’s get naked, Barbie!
Daughter: Mom, stop playing with her boobies! No, she doesn’t need to change clothes AGAIN. Play right!
Mommy: I AM playing right. I thought the whole point was to change their clothes. I mean really, they can’t sit around chatting about physics can they? Where’s Ken? Let’s see how he looks in drag!
Daughter: Dad, she’s not playing right!! Bring her some more champagne! Now listen, you just came back from the ball, and Ken’s your prince.
Mommy: “He’s not my type!” Yea, you go Malibu! Ken’s a sissy! We wants ourselves a big, black Man Barbie…yea, one that actually has genitals! Fuck Ken!
Daughter: Dad! Mommy said fuck again! She knows she’s not supposed to say fuck, cause fuck is a bad word, and fuck can get you in big trouble at school! So make her play right!
Mommy: “Yea, Ken, you know you want it up the ass, don’t ya?” “Stop teasing me, Malibu!” “Come on and whine some more, sissy boy!” “Take that!” “No, you take that!” Whoa…watch them go at it! Damn, if Ken had genitals, she would have just kicked his nuts clean up into his throat. I love playing Barbies!
The Erotic Ego 