I joke about my wardrobe malfunctions but I swear, I have more than my fair share. Granola girl, feel free to say I told you so. It was a little chilly this evening and all I had was a skirt to wear to work so I decided to wear my wolly cotton tights that haven’t seen daylight since last winter. Well it wasn’t long before they started sliding down my ass. I even had underwear on and it pulled them down with them. Every 15 mintutes I had to run into the back room and hike up my drawers. Thank goodness the skirt I was wearing was a long one, no one got to see my ass. Although I do wonder if anybody ever monitors those security videos, that person got an eyefull!
Tag: panty hose
Phone sex at the beach
Being the sexy genius that she is, Silver gave me a great idea today. You see, I’m getting ready to leave for a family reunion at the beach, so I’ll be several days with no internet…and feeling like I’m stuck in a Brady Bunch episode. My family doesn’t know that I’m bisexual OR polyamorous. As far as they’re concerned, I’m just a raunchy mom who teaches teaches writing, plays cello, and does weird “hippie things.” Little do they know that I’m a rockin’ sex blogger with a pagan girlfriend!
Silver suggested I sneak off for cell phone sex whilst at the beach, and I think that’s a marvelous idea! I was thinking of sneaking off to the bathroom periodically in my Victoria Secret bikini. My family is very clannish and tends to stick together like peanut butter, but it’s perfectly acceptable to claim “lengthy shit” time in the toilet. That should give me just enough time to get Silver on the phone, and relay the naughty thoughts that won’t have an outlet any other way.
Now if I can just find a way to get my husband alone to lick chocolate Reddi-Whip off his dick, then I’ll be set. Yes, Lollie, I have you to thank for that one 🙂
By the way, if anyone is looking for Granola Girl, I’ve got her locked in a mason jar for the week. I caught her ripping up my panty hose while preaching about the evils of crotch sweat. So, I jarred her and gave her a joint to work on while I’m away. She’ll be fine really…I put nail holes in the lid.
The Erotic Ego 